Eating Humble Pie, Accepting the Need to Stop
It’s important to eat a bit of humble pie once in a while. People sometimes figure that because I left my career in International Development to become a Coach & Yoga & Meditation Teacher, that I am now somehow ‘sorted.’ Whilst I do have heaps more peace in my life these days than I have ever had, sometimes I still overdo it! How do I know when I am overdoing it? For me, overdoing it shows up as: becoming accident prone; letting down people; and not sticking to good natural rhythms.
A few examples of me being accident prone in the past week are: at one of my corporate gigs, I stumbled over a ‘yoga ball’ and into a pilates bed; in a cafe, I gauged my forehead on the bathroom door hook; and, just walking down the street yesterday, I nearly walked into someone’s raised elbow (sure, it popped up suddenly, but it would not have been an issue had I not been so close to it)! I have scabs a bruises to show for the first two incidents — ouch! When I lose that feeling of being in ‘flow,’ like I have left myself all of the time in the world, a feeling that I have come to know intimately in the past four years, I know that I am in trouble!
There is nothing worse than knowing that you have let down someone and I am not just talking about the emails that are overdue to students and potential coachees! Earlier this week, I did not fulfil my responsibility to let one of my students know how many people would be arriving at her house to meditate. I was caught up in my own agenda and my routine went out the window. Although I have now set up a weekly reminder, I had thought of calling her right before completely disconnecting with my phone and engaging with the next new activity, so who’s to say that if I had seen a reminder that I would have heeded it in that state of mind? Then, today, I had an appointment to meditate with one of my wonderful students who has limited mobility at the moment. Before you think, oh that’s nice, please know that these ‘offerings’ probably help me a whole lot more than the people who I visit. I will not go into the intricacies of how I managed to get whisked away to the last day of an old friend’s art exhibition because then I would be manipulating you, dear reader! I would not be taking responsibility.
And finally, I know that I am overdoing it when I am not eating and sleeping in a regular and measured way. I am not trying to be good. I seek to eat and sleep well because basic self-care makes me feel good! I feel good when eat a larger lunch and smaller dinner. I feel good when I eat no later than 6pm, as I want to be winding down to sleep by 10pm and up by 6am. I reached for a coffee today for the first time in months because I actually needed it to ‘turn up’ and practice active listening as a Coach! I know that when I reach for coffee, I’m f***ed!
This blog is not meant to be a public self-flagellation piece. The fact is, I have slipped into busyness and I coach people on managing their energy and looking after themselves and there is nothing worst that a hypocrite. A lot of my coachees and students struggle with these same issues and whilst I know that it is great to inspire them with the progress that I have made in recent years, it is also important that they know that I too am human; that I too can ‘slip-up;’ and that I too can revert to the old and unhealthy patterns that no longer serve me.
Awareness of these behaviours is the Universe’s gift to me. What am I going to do about it? I am going to stop. I have found cover for all of my yoga classes and I have cancelled a few appointments. I am going on a retreat from Sunday evening until Friday morning, *sigh of relief!* I am going to be meditating and immersed in the Vedic teachings of one of my mentors, Alistair Shearer. There is one more space if anyone (who has learned Transcendental Meditation) would like to join me or see Alistair’s page for future retreats. I will be much better use to my students and coachees after a few days disconnected from technology. I am soon to be ‘off the grid’ for a few days, as cannot give away something that I do not have!